Long ago, among the Uighur people there were two lazybones, one called Hashandaiwulaike, the other called Shawutikabake. They were both extremely lazy, depending on their parents for food and clothing, unwilling to do even a little work, from morning to night they sat at the base of a wall and sunned themselves. As time passed this way, their parents [began to] loathe them, and had no choice but to kick them out. The two of them lived a drifter’s life, and went hungry for days at a time, with not even a piece of bread to eat.
One day, they were squatting next to a bread pit discussing what to do. Hashandaiwulaike said: “The best thing would be to go to a place where there’s food and clothes, but you don’t have to work – I don’t know if there is such a place?”
Shawutikabake said: “There’s no such place on this earth, only in heaven! I heard that the immortals in heaven are the happiest.”
Hashandaiwulaike said: “In that case, we should go to heaven. Why on earth would we stay in this place where we have to work and suffer other people’s disdain?”
Shawutikabake said: “That’s all very well and good, but how will we get up there? Can we find a ladder that long?”
Hashandaiwulaike said: “We could never find a ladder that long, but you can still get up there without a ladder.”
Shawutikabake said: “How?”
Hashandaiwulaike said: “In the valley there’s a Roc bird, when I was little I saw it when I went up there with my father. All we have to do is grab onto the Roc, and he will take us up to heaven.”
Shawutikabake said: “That’s a great idea, we’ll do it that way.”
So the two friends decided thus. On the morning of the next day, they got us and walked to the mountain. When they got to the mountain valley, they found the Roc’s nest, and they hid themselves next to it. They waited until the sun fell behind the mountain and the Roc flew back and had just landed in its nest, when Hashandaiwulaike grabbed it and held it tightly. He promptly called to Shawutikabake to grab his feet, and the Roc was frightened and flew into the sky.
So Shawutikabake was holding on to Hashandaiwulaike’s feet, and Hashandaiwulaike was holding on to the Roc’s claws, and they floated towards the seventh level of clouds [heaven].
Shawutikabake asked,” Hey! Are we there yet? I can’t hold on much longer!”
Hashandaiwulaike looked into a gap between the clouds and said, “Almost! I can already see the opening!”
Shawutikabake asked, “How big is the opening? Can we fit into it?”
Hashandaiwulaike answered, “It’s this big.” As Hashandaiwulaike answered, he used his hands to demonstrate how big the opening [to heaven] was.
But to his surprise, as soon as Hashandaiwulaike let go, the two lazy friends parted ways with the Roc, tumbled down, and were smashed into mincemeat.
In the last few days, I did a not-so-illustrious thing, and I’m ashamed to say it. In the evening, I went to JiangDong Park to play, and I saw that there were a few other children catching frogs, so I also hurriedly started catching frogs, and after I caught them I brought them back to my house. At my house I took care of them for a few days, but the frogs gradually became thinner and thinner, it’s like they were saying to me: “Put us back in nature, and we can catch more insects.” I listened to this and was truly embarrassed. So that night, I secretly put them back outside.
Monkey went to the hospital on a lark, and entered the doctor’s room. At that moment, the doctor wasn’t in, and he’d left his [doctor's] clothes in the room.
Monkey thought this would be fun, so he put on the doctor’s clothes, that white lab coat we see so often. Just then a little bear came to the hospital to see the doctor. This was the little bear’s first time at the hospital, and he didn’t know what hospitals were like [lit: didn't know the hospital situation]. All he knew was that doctors wear white lab coats.
The little bear had shown up at the hospital carrying a basket of peaches (this was the payment he had prepared to give to the doctor), and he happened to walk into the room where Monkey was. Little Bear didn’t know Monkey, but he recognized the white lab coat, so he asked Monkey to examine him.
Monkey originally just [intended to] have a bit of fun, but when he saw Little Bear’s basket, he coveted it fiercely. So Monkey put on a big show of examining Little Bear, and accepted his well-earned basket of peaches. As to whether or not Monkey actually cured Little Bear, we will never know.
However, after Monkey tasted that sweetness, he often stole into the hospital, taking advantage of the doctor’s absence, and examined patients. Later, Monkey simply made himself one of those kind of white lab coats.